Sunday, September 28, 2008
-Semester Break-
Semester break but i am not in the mood to play at all. I have an assignment due on the monday when school reopens. Which is like one more week? A whole business proposal some more. Which is so crappy that i don't feel like doing it. And another due on the thursday of the same week. Why do they even give us the holiday when they want us to hand in the assignments straight after that. What's the point of the holiday then?
I need to go for my jog that i have been procrastinating about. I must jog! I must jog! I must jog!!!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
-Emotional Breakdown-
I am having a freaking emotional breakdown!
So overwhelmed by everything suddenly.
I don't know what i am doing here anymore. I don't want to study any longer. I have lost my motivation to study.
I can't do this. I really can't. It was not as easy as i thought.
This is like climbing a mountain. The higher you go, the lesser air you have to breathe. The more difficult it is to climb up.
I am on the brink of giving up.
God! This is not what i need.
Friday, September 05, 2008
-Schizo?-
Leaving assignments to the last minute is never a good thing to do. But i'm not tired because i stayed up late to complete my assignment last night. I was really tired but when i laid on the bed, I became wide awake. And the baby fell sick or something and was crying through the night. The noise, coupled with the jumbled thoughts in my mind, added to my frustration of not being able to fall asleep.
It seems like my insomnia and lack of appetite has returned. I wouldn't mind the lack of appetite though i would prefer that i got my sleep.
And it seems like my mind is a separate entity from my self. I can literally hear the many thoughts going through my mind while i lay in bed yesterday. All as if i was a bystander listening to others talk.
The thoughts are all so jumbled up, its like my mind can't stay focused on one topic at a time. It leaves me feeling very lost because i can't keep up with the thoughts.
I wonder why it only happens when i am lying in bed. When i'm awake, i just sit and stone. I can't even remember most of what went through my head yesterday night. Probably because the mind jumps about between topics.
And no, i'm not turning into a schizophrenic. Well, at least i hope not.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
-If only I were a dolphin-
Yup. You read that right. If only i were a dolphin. Dolphins sleep with one eye closed to rest one half of their brain before switching to rest the other half. If i were a dolphin, i could do that too then i would have plenty of time to complete my assignments.
On second thoughts, if i were a dolphin, i would have no assignments to speak of.
Shucks. So much for being a dolphin.
Monday, September 01, 2008
-Vroom's-
I am dying here in the library. Am supposed to write my 1000 word essay on motivational theories but i have NO motivation to do so. None! Nadah! Zilch! And it's due on thursday. Great! Just great!
Either i have been slacking off for too long or something because i can't find any inspiration to write. And i did so horribly for the first assignment i handed in that it kind of crushed my self esteem.
Just like Vroom's expectancy theory of motivation states, people are motivated to work when they expect that they will be able to achieve and obtain the things they want. I expect that i won't be able to get good grades for this assignment because 1. I have lost my inspiration to write, and 2. The tutor is damn strict. Thus, since my expectancy is low, my motivational force is low too. Which equals to NO MOTIVATION!!!
Damn it! I need to get back my writer's mind.
Just 3 more assignments to get through and it will be the holidays. 3 more!